I’m sitting here, at my desk, with my coffee—in a mug specifically label Cappucino a million times over, but has yet to contain the slightest drop of that said beverage. Between each sip, I think about the pile of reporting that needs to be completed by month end. I think about my frustrations— not necessarily with the duties of my occupational hazard per se, but more so with my lack of ability and time to focus wholeheartedly on the things my heart and soul collectively want to manifest into fruition.
So, what do you say to yourself when self finally realizes it needs to break free of all mood killers, and all of the obstacles rising in the midst of your pursuit of happiness. Well, because I’m a southern sailor of a woman I’d usually say ” Fxck ’em”, but because that does little to alleviate the current situation at hand, I’ll digress to beg “who knows”?
This is the part of growing up I doubt many of us saw coming. Think about it like I did back in my Rugrats days . . . I wanted to grow up, and I wanted to be a “grown” up. Yet, if you know anything about the Tommy, Chucky, Phil, Lil, Angelica, or Susie—you’re aware they all possessed their own individually whimsical views of adulthood: as most children are bound to do when left to their own devices. Thus, I was convinced at a young school age that by 25 I would have all of life figured out, and be living without a care 24/7, 365—Nevertheless, now at 27 years young, I’m so elated I didn’t bank my life, or my life savings on that bullsh!t assumption.
Truth is, I don’t have life completely figured out, and the parts I do manage to master as a result long hard toilings quickly shift whenever the universe sees fits, and little ole’ me winds up at totally new starting point—but LOST once again. Reality is. . . I know I’ll never have life all tied up in a bow while I am here on earth, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try my hand at playing jigsaw master!
By nature, I can’t sit still. I’m in constant motion whether that’s physically, mentally or spiritually. So as I draw this brain matter spill to a close, I say with surety I’m not going to stop moving, shifting and re-arranging the pieces of my life until I’m 99% happy with my Sunday through Monday lifetime routines. It’s only right that we accomplish what our hearts and minds’ desire while on Earth-plane. Indeed, that is the only way to truly live “the LIFE” after we leave from here.
I need to live. I’m ready to live—end goal.
—– ♠ E.E.