I used to have a bad, and self destructive habit of hoarding people.
Growing up I naively assumed that fears were limited: you know to things like heights, haunted houses, the dark and death. Oh boy! was I in for surprise, when I realized “fears“, like people, places and things—come in every shape and size imaginable. So I was equally, if not more caught off guard when I confessed to my old self I had a problem with hoarding people.
“But. . .they’re my fwiends. . .”
For the most part, somehow I had convince myself, I needed some of the friends I had or they needed me. Some friendships, overstayed their welcome because I didn’t want to be the bad guy, or I just didn’t really know how to “Unfriend” someone face-to-face without a catalyst. Others trailed on long passed their expiration dates, because I was fearful of what it would mean to finally be done with that person. Would there be a replacement? Who will I do this or that with? We been friends for so long . . .Maybe she will change . . .!?!?!?! Just excuses. Those friendships are usually the ones that spoil and rot, until it becomes hard to believe you and her were ever considered FRIENDS.
“. . .you gon’ hurt you back. . .”
Think of those friends as dead weight—body bags. While I was attempting to progress, climb to new heights, and experience the true nature of love and life—I was being slowed down by all of the lifeless bodies I had acquire over the years. The crazy thing, the more I attempted to move and elevate myself, the heavier my load became. Then I started to realize . . .none of these so-called friends of mine were moving. They had all grown complacent —and unconcerned with breaking through glass ceilings, disrupting stereotypical norms, cutting red-tape or simply living freely. No, these people were content doing nothing progressive, altruistic or even self-rewarding—only existing, waiting for someone or something else to thrust them into Success or Wealth.
We’ve all had that one or a few friends who, although at heart may be a wonderful person, is pretty much useless in terms of real life, and does very little more than consume airspace. For example, the “unambitious” friend who wants to be rich and could tell you everything she’d do with her new found fortune, but sleeps in late every work day. Or how about the “turn-down-for-what” friend who calls you every weekend for a good time and rails of shots, but she didn’t have gas money to come get you when your car broke down and you needed a ride to work. And let’s not forget the “that’ll-never-happen” friend. This was the primary source of bodies dropped over the last 4 years of my life. See the that’ll-never-happen friend is, to me, the worst friend to keep around to long. Why? 1. They are rarely, if ever, going to be supportive to you, because they don’t have the confidence to be supportive to themselves. Almost every dream or vision the that’ll-never-happen friend comes up with he or she abandons it—for the fear it will be to hard to accomplish or the belief the she was not built for that kind of success or fulfillment.
I don’t need none of that sh!t
People who are just as ambitious, goal-oriented and supportive as I am are who I desire to surround me. And although I cleared away quite a few bodies, my circle remains pretty darn tight. . . just how I like, and just as it should be. I had to accept the fact that I did not need anyone, but myself. I agree with Monic, your friends, like your family, are your resources. You’d should be able to pull energy from them. Good vibes. You should be able to build with your friends: grow with them, succeed with them. And at the end of the day, understand you’ll never be the sum of all the friends you have. I know now I’ll always be the sum of Me, Myself and I. Thus, my number one amiga is Me. . . go figure. ☺